I'm Engaged...and Overwhelmed! Where to Begin when Planning a Wedding.

Getting engaged is magical. Whether it’s a grand gesture with a backdrop of fireworks or a quiet night in by the fire, it marks the beginning of an exciting new chapter.

But what about once the excitement and elation has settled? You’re left with a huge to-do list and a thousand decisions that you need to make. It can be daunting to say the least!

So what is my advice as an Independent Wedding Celebrant and all round champion of all things love and marriage?

Celebrate the Engagement

Yes, there is so much to do and you’re probably super excited to get started, but the engagement is a key life event in itself. I’m not saying you need to have a big engagement party and fork out hundreds of pounds on oversized helium balloons, but definitely take the time to celebrate the huge milestone that you’ve just hit. Whether it’s a weekend away just the two of you to soak it all up, or a simple home-cooked dinner with a bottle of your favourite tipple, take some time out to be in each other’s company before you get swept up in all of the planning. There’s no need to rush it and this gives you a chance to talk about the future and envision the kind of marriage you want to build.

Keep an Open Mind (and a Realistic Budget)

Many of us have had ideas about our wedding day since we were really little. It might be that you’ve always wanted that cathedral length, lace veil and you need everything else to fit in around it. Or perhaps you’ve always dreamt of that designer tux, with a desire to look like the next James Bond. Either way, go into wedding planning with an open mind about your vision and a realistic budget to stick to. It’s important that you both know your limits so that you can’t be left feeling disappointed when the three metre high ice sculpture you had your eye on is vetoed for being too pricey.

Get yourself a collaborative mood board going and, in the first few weeks on your engagement, just enjoy experimenting and placing different styles side by side. You might find that something completely different becomes your new favourite look or that the flower arrangement you’ve always wanted doesn’t actually suit the venue you have your eye on. Either way, a visual representation of the ideas in your head (and these might change in the first few weeks) is the best way to pin down the overall vibe that you want to run with, whilst remaining budget savvy.

Lists, lists, lists

Whether you like it or not, there is a lot to arrange for a wedding and writing lists will help you to keep on top of things without letting them spiral out of control. Ticking items off also provides massive satisfaction and reassures you that you are making progress with your planning. Always start your list with the most pressing items in terms of time-frame and work from there.

I would argue that the top three priorities are:

1. securing your venue (and therefore determining your date)

2. booking your caterer

3. sending out save the dates

Once they’re decided upon, the rest follows easily. Don’t forget to reach out to friends and family who have recently got married themselves. Chances are, one of them will have a spreadsheet or a checklist to get you started! Failing that, check out the checklist I’ve put together to help get you started if you need some guidance.

Wedding preparation checklist.pdf

Download PDF • 75KB

Teamwork Makes the Dream Work

When I married my husband, we had already been together for over eight years and we were well practised in the art of ‘divide and conquer’ (mainly when cleaning the house!). This really is the best way to make sure that your wedding day is about both of you, and it takes the pressure off with preparations too. Refer back to that list we mentioned before and initial different jobs for each of you to take on. Of course you need to discuss them as you go, but taking responsibility for different items makes the whole process feel much easier to digest. It also encourages you to start as you mean to go on, working together as a unit.

Embrace Flexibility

The most important thing, however, is to remember that you can plan and plan, but you also have to welcome some flexibility into the process. Things might not go entirely as expected and you might have to make some compromises along the way, but you will still have the best day imaginable if you have found a person you love and want to spend the rest of your life with. Don’t let the specifics of the wedding day detract from the fact that you’re embarking on a marriage and that’s what it’s really all about!